THE AMERICANS
There are so many cultural differences around the world, and like most travelers I have had my share of utterly embarrassing moments. My first instinct is to try to blend in, but I scratched that theory when I traveled as a little white American girl in Asia and South America. It’s like being blond on the Mediterranean. You might as well scream that you are foreign. In the end, no matter how great a traveler I pride myself to be, I cannot get away from the American stereotype.

A Brit couple were on a trek in the remote parts of Nepal, and they passed this super fat chicken. It was so fat that they were just struck by amazement. A little old Nepalese lady popped her head out and said in her broken English, "American chicken." Clearly, even in the remotest part of Nepal the locals have seen their fair share of overweight American tourists in search of their McDonalds fix.

Some of my mates are so embarrassed by the stereotype that they insist on saying they are ‘New Yorkers’ instead of ‘Americans’ to distinguish themselves from the rest of the country.  But do we deserve to be grouped into such a stereotype? I mean really, Americans have a vast knowledge of history:

TARA – I was on a tour of the islands on Lake Titicaca. Our guide talked about the harsh living conditions of these poor indigenous people. There was this American guy on the trip with his fresh pressed bright yellow Ohio State shirt, Gap khaki pants, sneakers and a camcorder. He asked the tour guide, 'Well, if it is so hot and people are so poor, why don’t they just move?'

And vast cultural understanding of the world.

JEN – I was in London on a study abroad program. We would go out every night to get some drinks at the local pub. One night this huge frat boy with too much of Daddy’s money, got super drunk. He was chatting with a few locals and things started to steam up. He shouted out to a pub full of Brits, 'Well, if it wasn’t for us (Americans) you all would be speaking German.'

INNIS – I met an American hippy vegan type lady (hairy pits, etc) in Costa Rica who was amazed at 'how well I spoke English for a Scotsman.' Where do they grow these people?

So isn’t everyone else the same when they travel?

THE AUSSIES
For all the intelligent, well-education, well-traveled people out there, you always tend to find a few dumb-wits and really, I cannot just bag my fellow compatriots. The Aussies have a few things to answer for. The one thing you can guarantee is that in every nook and cranny around the world, there will be an Australian. They always have names like Shane, Wayne and Nigel, and they are typically nursing a beer, decked out in surfing gear with Oakley sunglasses. They are never shy in telling you how long they have been traveling the world, which will be at least four times as long as you have. I swear if you every find the lost civilization of Shangri-la, there will be a couple of Aussies kicking back.

Aussies seem to have this great reputation as travelers and if you've ever met a drunken Aussie male, you may wonder how this could be. Despite their loud conduct which frequently includes “taking the piss” out of you and telling stories with Steve Irwin enthusiasm, they tend to maintain their stellar travel rep. Is it the accent? All is forgotten when they speak?

Unfortunately, in at least one instance the charm did not help the Aussie girl we met sailing - Edwina with her tuffs of frizzy red hair. She's what I like to call OOO: 
Overbearing, Out-of-touch and Overseas.

On our first night together we went around the group introducing ourselves. Edwina knew how to quiet a crowd, but unfortunately not in a good way.

"When I'm at home, I'm a public servant, but when I'm overseas, I'm a diplomat."

A diplomat? Of what? After a few days the boat had a changeover and OOO left, but unfortunately she was replaced by an Aussie couple six months into their trip. Honestly though, I thought they had just stepped off the plane from the outback. We were all sitting down for breakfast and this Japanese girl asked me where I was from. I replied, 'Sydney' as I had been living in Australia for four years. Immediately, in this awful super-harsh accent (Aussie equivalent to 'the Nanny') the guy screeched,

"Awwwwww, you can't really say you're from Aussssss-trrrrraaal-ya." Followed by the girl with: "Not with that [American] accent."

From there they continued in typical loud Aussie fashion - scaring off the animals on the island, taking photos of themselves in rude positions, unknowingly pissing everyone off with very un-PC comments.

Now, even after meeting these embarrassing twits, I still have a soft spot for Aussies. Maybe Its because I married one or maybe there really is a charm to the accent. In any case, they seem to escape our American plight of having a bad travel reputation.

My musings of the Aussie traveler:
1. There will always be one in the pub
2. Where ever you are, they have been there first.
3. Why are you all called Shazza, Dazza or other derivations of your name that ends in 'o.' How does Damien become Damo?
4. If you love home so much, why do you all leave for so long?

EUROTRASH
Whether it is Brits impersonating Beck & Posh, the walking Prada ads from the Mediterranean or the practical travel gear sported by the cold mountain crew, Euros are just as easy to point out on the road. So again, I wonder why Americans are so keen to declare themselves Canadian. I don’t see Germans sowing Czech flags on their bags or Brits pretending they are Irish?

The Brits used to be a bunch of pub boys toting soccer club shirts. Now, your average Brit is dressed in the trendiest of fashion. I swear I saw Beckham and Posh on their way to hike Manchu Picchu. Tight jeans, groovy bright colored trainers, baby-girl shirts or black tees, topped up with all the latest in jewelry, eye and hair trends. One fab girl I met on the Navimag had 8 pairs of shoes with her on their backpacking trip, 6 of which her boyfriend was forced to carry. In the Salt Flats in Bolivia the glare from the sun reflection on the white salt was so harsh you had to wear dark sun glasses all the time. Too bad for the Brits that light lenses were in fashion at the time because they all burned their eyes…but, hey they looked good!

The Southern Euros – Italians, Spanish, Greeks – should be walking down the street in New York, Rome, Milan. Even when they stay in grungy hostels they won’t be caught dead in anything other than black. In the mornings they are passed out from their night clubbing and besides their bed are perfectly laid out shoes and clothes – Prada, Versachi, Armani…do they wear any other brands?

Northern European – Scandinavians, the Dutch, Germans – they are the ones that actually wear travel attire – goretex, waterproof pants that zip at the knees to become shorts and hiking boots or tevas sandals. Well, they may be the most comfortably dressed, but come on, next to Beckham & Prada is that how you want to be seen?

TRAVELING IN PACKS
Not even American tour groups can surpass the invasion that occurs when Japanese tours or Israeli packs come to town. I never thought I would make a comparison between Israelis and Japanese, but these two nationalities are both pack-traveling hounds.

Running into Israelis is similar to running into a group of New Yorkers, but with shagging curly post-army growth hair and only in the cheapest of countries. They tend to save up money from their time in the military and then hit the road and try to stretch their money for as long as they can. My theory on why Israelis travel in packs is that it is good for bargaining power and they are certainly skilled in it. When I spot a pack of Israelis I follow them to try and take advantage of the great prices they secure. However, it can sometimes takes hours waiting through the bargaining arguments and numerous changes of places.

In South America and India, there are places where Hebrew signs line the streets. They leave each other messages and recommendations. This one Israeli showed us a sign in Cusco that said,

“Don’t eat here as the food made me very sick.”

Japanese tour groups and are infamous for their white hats and self portraits. They take photos of themselves in front of everything and I mean everything. The bus pulls up to a famous site and one after another they disembark all wearing white tour group hats. They wait in a long line until one by one they each take a photo of themselves in front of the monument. At the Pantheon in Rome, a group of over 50 Japanese descended upon us. We had to wait until all 50 of them took photos of themselves in front of the main doors. Can you imagine their slide show? “Here I am in front of the Pantheon, here is my sister in front of the Pantheon, here is my brother in front of the Pantheon, etc…”

So just to ask again, why are American’s the only ones posing as other nationalities?